college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
