For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
