My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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