I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize