Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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