The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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