May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize