He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
