Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
well you can't waste a boner
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
