I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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