Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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