conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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