He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
