I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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