i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
