So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
