Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
They took my balls.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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