i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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