i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
