How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
