My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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