i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
