She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
