Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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