pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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