i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize