I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
