i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
