Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I DEMAND FORESKIN
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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