Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
