Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just had sex on a roof
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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