I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
