Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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