She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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