I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
