I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Text me some of your sweat
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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