o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
