I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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