Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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