I heard we made out
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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