so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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