last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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