Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
