her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
