After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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