I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
