:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
