When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
