Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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