haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
