im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
