dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
