3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
