In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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