Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
