all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
