Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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