my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
