also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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