You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize