So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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