I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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