I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just want to make out with him forever
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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