that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
