The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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